Gene Who?

   Last week I had an appointment with a Genetic Counselor.  Community Hospital provides this services complimentary with a breast cancer diagnosis.  I knew ahead of time that they would be asking a lot of family history questions, so I came prepared.  Not only did I bring my mom along, but I did my research ahead of time.  My mom has 6 siblings, and my dad has 2 siblings, with a total of 15 cousins...so I had my work cut out for me.  Between my parents and I, we emailed, called, or text every family member.  We had to ask them about anything they have ever been diagnosed with and at what age they were diagnosed with it.  Of course, we also needed to know about my deceased relatives, so we inquired about them too.  I made a branched family tree (thank you college genetics class) for each side of the family (maternal and paternal), and slowly began to fill it in.  What I didn't realize was that they had mailed me a packet to fill out before the appointment, and all this information was to be filled out again in the packet.
   So, with mom and family history in tow, I headed to the appointment, not sure what to expect.  I met with a young women (about my age) named Kaylee.  We talked extensively about genetics and how they play a role in cancer, the different ways my genes could have contributed to my cancer, and they types of genetic testing I could participate in.  The appointment lasted just over an hour.  My insurance will be changing at the beginning of the year, so we must wait until then, so see if I can get coverage for any genetic testing.  But until then, I was sent a letter summarizing our appointment.  I will share some of what it said.

"We discussed that at least 60% of all cancer cases are sporadic, meaning they are not passed from parent to child and are due to genetic changes in the cell thought to be caused by environmental factors.  Familial cancers account for approximately 20-30% of all cancer cases and are characterized by multiple family members affected with similar cancers.  Familial cancers are caused by a complex combination of both genetic and environmental factors.  Hereditary cancers account for 7-10% of all cancer cases, and are due to an inherited mutation in a single gene that can be passed through families.  Cases of hereditary cancer can be present in multiple generations on one side of a family, are characterized by bilateral or multifocal cancers that are exhibited at younger ages, and show specific patterns of cancer in blood relatives."

"Ms. Raper , your family has characteristics that indicate that you may have a hereditary form of breast cancer.  You have a personal history of melanoma at age 30 and breast cancer at age 31, a paternal first cousin once removed with breast cancer in her 50s, a paternal great aunt with breast cancer in her 70s, and several family members with a history of melanoma.  Multiple instances of breast cancer in a family, breast cancer occurring before menopause, and multiple cancers in the same person are  concerning for hereditary breast cancer.  Additionally, while skin cancer is a common cancer to observe in families, but having multiple individuals with breast cancer and melanoma in a family is concerning for hereditary breast and ovarian cancer syndrome."

   There are two types of genetic tests out there that I can choose to forgo (I have already done the BRCA1/BRCA2, which was negative).  These two tests are called BreastNEXT and BRCAPlus.    The BRCAPlus would only look at 4 other high risk breast cancer genes that would provide clinically actionable information.  This means that if any of these genes show mutation, I have another cancer or syndrome that caused my breast cancer, which would need to be treated.  The BreastNEXT test would look at a total of 16 genes for any mutations.  However, with either test the results could be positive, negative, or a variant of uncertain significance (which is a change in one of the genes tested that has not yet been classified as benign or disease-causing).  So, let's hope and pray that my insurance will cover at least one of these tests, because it could potentially give me life-saving information.

FAMILY: "Ms. Raper, although we know that you do not carry a mutation that can be found by sequencing and rearrangement testing of the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes, your female relatives warrant increased surveillance for breast cancer. We recommend that women in your family have annual mammograms beginning at age 25.  Typically, the recommendation is to begin mammograms 10 years prior to earliest age of diagnosis in a family; however, we do not recommend mammograms prior to age 25."

Feeling Better

  Tuesday I had my follow up post-op appointment with the Plastic Surgeon.  He said everything looked good and he was happy with the results.  To my surprise he said I wouldn't need to see him again for 3-6 months!  I told him about the pain under my right breast, and he said "I told you it was going to hurt there."  Yes, he did!  And I'm thankful he told me that in pre-op before I was all looped up on meds, so that I would remember.  Otherwise I would have been concerned about why it hurt so bad, which is what happened after my mastectomy.  I was in so much pain and I didn't know why.  I didn't know if it was normal pain or something to be worried about.  No one prepared me for that!
  He said that he added some extra dissolvable stitches under my right breast to lift it up, and because of that I'm not to stretch, reach, or lift with my right arm for another month.  Because of my job, that means I can't return to work for another month.  I anticipated being off for a month anyway, so hopefully my return date will remain the same (Jan 4th).  It will be nice being off during the holidays.
  Today, (12/14) I am pretty much pain free, and not taking any pain meds.  Usually by the evening I will start to hurt some, but overall I'm feeling pretty good...8 days post-op.  I can now put my seat belt on for myself, shower myself, dress myself, and sit up in bed by myself (still hurts a little).  I'm still not driving and need help putting on my coat.
  The great thing about my mastectomy is that they were able to do nipple-sparing.  Which means that they didn't have to remove my nipples (which is done in a lot of cases).  This is great because now that I have the implants, my breasts look completely normal.  The incisions were made under my breasts along my chest/rib area.  Once the scars are healed, you won't even be able to tell I had cancer/mastectomy/implants.  This is also why I'm not posing pictures LOL!
  I've come to realize recently that I'm actually a very lucky woman.  Sure, I got breast cancer at the age of 31...that sucks!  I had to go through chemotherapy, got really sick and lost my hair....that sucked!  BUT, through hearing other women's stories, I realize that it could have been MUCH worse.  I could have been stage 4, I could have been triple negative, they could have removed my nipples, I could have needed radiation, I could have gotten an infection and had my implant(s) removed, I could have had a much more rigorous chemo regiment, there could have been complications anywhere along the way....and NONE of this happened to me!  With God on my side, all things are possible!  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and although I haven't discovered the reason for this yet, I know it's a big important one :)

The Twins

   Right in the middle of a good ol' Indiana Winter Storm, I headed to the surgery center and checked in at 9:05am.  We passed a slide off and multiple salt trucks on our way.  The roads were icy and we had to take it slow.  I was praying that my surgeon was going to make it on time, so my surgery wouldn't be postponed or cancelled.  Shortly after I checked in, they took me back to the pre-op room, where I went through all the medical history questions and they accessed my port.  Once I got into the lovely gowns and hair net, everyone came to visit.  First, my Navigator Nurse Sharlee.  She came to say Hi, introduce me to the new Navigator, and wish me well.  Then, my parents were let back.  Then, the Anaesthesiologist paid a visit to go over what he would be doing and what I should expect with the anaesthetic.  Lastly, my plastic surgeon arrived, marked me up for surgery and explained what he would be doing. Finally, an OR nurse came to get me and walk me back to the OR. 
  On the way back, she asked me what I would be doing if I wasn't there getting surgery.  I said I would probably be working.  So, naturally she asked what I do. Of course, she thought a CSI was cool and when we entered the OR, she told all the others in there that I was a CSI.  To my surprise, one of the other scrub nurses (Inna) remembered being in on my last surgery.  She said " it had to be you. How many other female CSIs are in Indy?"  We all had a good laugh about that.  Another funny thing I remember was the Anaesthesiologist was wearing a winter coat under his white lab coat in the OR, but to his credit...it was FREEZING in there.  He had it on when he paid me a visit in pre-op, but I thought he would take it off for surgery.  Nope. LOL.
   After 2.5 hours I woke up in recovery.  I was wearing a compression bra and had ice packs on my chest.  I stayed in post-op for probably 3-4 hours.  I was really wobbly when I finally got up to get dressed, I felt like I was learning to walk for the first time.
  The surgery went well.  The surgeon was able to remove a lot of scar tissue around the incision sites, and said that he didn't see any scar tissue behind the expanders (which is good).  He was also able to lift up my right breast, which was lower than the left after the mastectomy.  But because of this extra reconstruction, I am in a lot of pain under my right breast.  I describe it as feeling like I've been stabbed and then repeatedly punched in that area.
  I'm recovering at my parent's house now and will be here for probably 2 weeks.  I am very sensitive to pain medication and I'm having trouble managing the meds.  They prescribed me Dilauded, but I don't get much relieve from that.  I had Percocet left over from the last surgery, which helps tremendously with the pain, but it gives me a headache and makes me nauseous.  So, I think I'm going to try taking a strong dose of Tylenol and see if that works.  I was nauseous all day Friday, yesterday, and this morning because of the pain meds.  Today, I haven't taken any prescription pain meds yet.  (It hurts SOO bad when I vomit because of the stitches, so  I want to give my body a rest)  I feel the least amount of pain when I'm laying down, so I've pretty much been planted on the couch.

Silicone or Saline

I had an appt with my plastic surgeon on Monday.  This was the final appt before my next surgery.  I am having another surgery on December 6th.  This one will be done to replace my temporary expanders with permanent implants.  I had a big decision to make before this weeks appt...saline or silicone (gel)?  For those of you old enough to remember, silicone implants were recalled by the FDA in the 1980's and not used for over 20 years.  They were believed to have caused auto immune diseases such as lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.   However, during those 20 years extensive research was done and there was no exclusive connection made between the two.  Therefore in 2007, I think, they were brought back (new & improved).

Upon doing my research, I found the following pros and cons:
•Gel implants
PROS
-feel more natural
-look more natural
-less likely to leak
CONS
-more cause for concern if they do leak
•Saline implants
PROS
-if they leak, no concern
CONS
-feel harder
-more likely to ripple
-more likely to leak

After doing my own research and reading the booklets my surgeon gave me, I talked with both my nurse & my surgeon to get their advice.  To my surprise, my surgeon said that over 50% of his patients choose gel implants.  Then, my nurse told me that of all her patients in their 30's and younger, they have ALL chosen gel implants.   And that if I were her daughter that is what she would recommend I choose.  Well, that did it for me....gel it is!  On Dec 6th I'll be getting brand new silicone boobies!!!!

Happy October!!

 

 

October is breast cancer awareness month.  The entire month is dedicated to spreading the awareness and gaining funds for the research of breast cancer.  It is estimated that in 2013 there will be a total of 232,340 new cases of invasive breast cancer and 39,620 breast cancer deaths in the US among women.  Feel those Ta-Tas ladies, don't be ashamed, it could save your life....it did mine!!

　
Breast Self-Awareness
1. Know your risk Talk to your family to learn about your family health history
Talk to your doctor about your personal risk of breast cancer

2. Get screened Ask your doctor which screening tests are right for you if you are at a higher risk
Have a mammogram every year starting at age 40 if you are at average risk
Have a clinical breast exam at least every 3 years starting at age 20, and every year starting at age 40
Sign up for your screening reminder at komen.org/reminder

3. Know what is normal for you The signs of breast cancer are not the same for all women. It is important to know how your breasts normally look and feel. See your health care provider if you notice any of these breast changes:

• Lump, hard knot or thickening inside the breast or underarm area

• Swelling, warmth, redness or darkening of the breast

• Change in the size or shape of the breast

• Dimpling or puckering of the skin

• Itchy, scaly sore or rash on the nipple

• Pulling in of your nipple or other parts of the breast

• Nipple discharge that starts suddenly

• New pain in one spot that does not go away

4. Make healthy lifestyle choices Maintain a healthy weight
Add exercise into your routine
Limit alcohol intake
Limit menopausal hormone use
Breastfeed, if you can

For more information visit our website or call our breast care helplinewww.komen.org 1-877 GO KOMEN (1-877-465-6636)
All images are copyrighted, ©2013 Susan G. Komen®. Use of images prohibited without prior written permission.
Komen does not provide medical advice. ©2013 Susan G. Komen® Item No. KOMEED200600, English 7/13


The third week of October has been set aside for the awareness of men's breast cancer.  Although not as common, men DO get breast cancer too.  Women make sure your men feel their ta-tas too, especially if breast cancer runs in their family.  It is estimated that in 2013 there will be a total of 2,240 new cases of invasive breast cancer and 410 breast cancer deaths in U.S men.  Spread the word!!

Pink Ribbon Connection



Last week I was honored to be able to attend a breast cancer event in downtown Indy.  Pink Ribbon Connection is a non-profit breast cancer support and information organization.  They hold a luncheon fashion show fundraiser every year and my hospital bought a table and invited survivors.  It was an amazing afternoon.  I arrived at the Marriott and the hallways were filled with women in PINK.  I checked in and got my name tag which said "Survivor" on it...that's my new title :)  There were booths and tables along the hallway with information and freebies.  I located my nurse and my fellow survivor friend Debbie.  We then ordered a pink drink to loosen up.  Next, we grabbed some props and headed to the photo booth!

Then we located some other people from our group and went into the ballroom to find our table.  We were seated right next to the runway!  There ended up being 4 survivors and our Nurse Sharlee.  All the models in the fashion show were either breast cancer survivors or health care providers working with breast cancer patients.  Sharlee said she's going to see about getting me in the show next year!

 

 

 

What do you know about Mesothelioma?

source: www.mesothelioma.com


I was asked to include this on my blog.  Always glad to bring awareness!

Decisions, Decisions

I saw my Oncologist on Tuesday and talked with him about what the Radiation Oncologist had told me about recommending more chemo.  Apparently he had "spoken out of his expertise" and I will NOT need anymore chemo.  My oncologist said that if the chemo didn't work the first time, it won't work a second time either.  A different kind of chemo will not make a difference.  As I've stated before, my kind of cancer is highly estrogen + and highly Her2 +, which means the cancer is being driven by either the estrogen or the Her2.  Since the chemo didn't work, this suggests that my cancer is driven by the estrogen.  Therefore, the drug Tamoxifen will prevent any further growth of breast cancer cells.  I was under the impression that I wouldn't start Tamoxifen until ALL my treatment was complete (May 2014), but he said I could start it as soon as my chemo was done, so he went ahead and wrote the prescription for me.  I'm really nervous about taking it, and therefore haven't started it yet.  It's sitting in a drawer in my bathroom.  I have heard that it gives you hot flashes which, let's face it ladies, are NO FUN!  I have had these already throughout my treatments and I am not looking forward to them coming back.  However, what scares me the most is the risk of uterine cancer.  I mean do I really need to trade one cancer in for another???  I shared my concerns with my nurse and she said that of all her patients, she's only known of 1 who developed uterine cancer while on the drug.  And IF I were to get it, it would be years down the road, like 10+ years.  She said the risk is low, but as always I must way the risks, and she said the benefits out way the risks for this drug.  She said that if I were her daughter, she would tell me to take it.  So, I'll take it, but I'm not looking forward to it, especially since I have to take it for the next 5-10 years of my life!

Today, I had another appointment with my Plastic Surgeon.  As of right now, I am not happy with the way my breasts are looking.  I don't think it has anything to do with the handy work of the surgeon, it's just the way the expanders are filling out, the pockets that were created after the tissue was removed, and the scar tissue that is developing.  My right breast is lower and "plumper", and my surgeon says bigger (although I swear it's smaller).  But todays' appointment reassured me.  The surgeon said that during my next surgery he will be able to lift up the lower breast, which will make them look more even and IF needed he can later make a tissue deposit from my belly to the breast to fill in any differences.  I think I am at the size I want to be right now, so I scheduled the date for my next surgery...December 6th.  Now, I just need to decide if I want gel or saline implants.  To my surprise, the Plastic Surgeon said today that over 50% of his patients have chosen to go with gel implants.  My next follow-up with him is on Nov. 11th and I think a decision will be made then.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

I went to see a Radiation Oncologist at the advisement of my Breast Surgeon today.  My surgeon said that he didn't think I would need radiation, but that it would ultimately be the call of the specialist.  To my surprise, the Breast Navigator was there.  I was so thankful for this, because I had showed up to the appt. alone.  She kept me company and helped me understand what the doctor and nurses were telling me.  At first, the NP came in and explained exactly what radiation entailed.  What the appointments would be like and what radiation involved, etc.  She was so detailed it began to worry me. So, I asked her "does this mean I'm definitely getting radiation?"  She said that I'm a "candidate" for it, but that the decision is up to me...if I don't want to do it, I don't have to.  This confused me a little, but luckily she was just a "prep" before the doctor came in.  As soon as the Doctor came into the room he told me "You do not need radiation!"  WOOHOOO!  Oh my gosh, I was soo relieved!  Radiation is a scary thing, especially when you have implants.  It interferes with the implants and the scar tissue.  I was very worried about that.  The doctor continued to explain why he felt that I didn't need it and wouldn't benefit from it.  However.......the bad news:

As I explained in a previous post, my initial breast MRI showed my tumor at 2.9cm, after chemo I received another breast MRI which showed the tumor size at 2.1cm.  The point of chemo is to rid your body of the residual cancer and shrink any tumors.  Most of the time, the tumor will shrink so much it can't even be seen.  So, since mine only shrank 0.8cm, this was extremely disappointing.  It basically means the chemo didn't work.  Therefore, the Radiation Oncologist said because of my age and the aggressive nature of my cancer, he thinks I should try another/different regiment of chemo.  He said most patients will do chemo AFTER the surgery anyway (instead of before like I did).  Soooo, he said he's going to talk to my Oncologist and get back with me about what they decide on whether I should do more chemo (eek!).  I'm conflicted about this option because obviously chemo is nothing fun.  It's awful, I will feel bad (possibly even worse than before), I will lose my hair again (which has just started to grow back), I will have to miss more work, etc.  BUT, I want to do everything possible to make sure that this cancer is completely gone and does NOT come back.  I want to exhaust all my options and make sure I do everything I can to get back to good health and stay in good health.

Because of the extensive history of cancer on BOTH sides of my family, they also want me to see a geneticist.  The following cancers are in my family history: bladder, liver, breast, skin, prostate, cervical, and lung.  The doctor couldn't believe it today when going through my family history.  He was astounded!  So, that appointment will be interesting.  Hopefully it will give me good news and not bad.  But she's booked until December, so I'll have to wait a while for that.

Please keep me in your prayers, especially while I await the decision about more chemo.  Also, while I heal from the initial reconstruction surgery, head towards the final reconstruction surgery, return to work at the end of October, and see the Geneticist.

Doctors, Doctors and more Doctors

I had several doctors appointments this week.  Tuesday, I had my post-op appt with the Breast Surgeon.  He went over the pathology report and said everything looked good.  I won't need to see him again for 6 mos.  The pathology report showed that the only cancer was the tumor that we already knew about in my right breast and it was apprx. the same size we thought it was (very slightly smaller).  Also, they found a benign fibroadinoma in my left breast.  He also said that it showed no cancer behind my nipples, which is good news because that means I get to keep them!  So overall, very good pathology report!  He said that he doesn't think I will need radiation, but wants me to see the Radiation Oncologist for him to give me the final word on that.

Then, on Wednesday, I had another appt. at the Plastic Surgeon's.  I had the final two drains removed (YEAH!!), and more fluid injected.  He said I will probably get filled a couple more times.  The tape was also removed over the incisions so the steri-strips can fall off.  What I have to realize is that getting implants due to breast cancer is completely different than getting breast implants for augmentation purposes. With breast cancer, all of your breast tissue is removed (and with some women the nipples are removed also), so the implants are there to replace that missing tissue.  With augmentation, all the breast tissue remains which helps plump up and enhance the breast.  So breast cancer patients don't get the "vavoom" effect that augmentation patients do :(

Then, on Thursday, I had an appt. with the Dermatologist for a skin cancer follow-up. As you may recall, I was diagnosed with melanoma in January of this year.  During my B.C. surgery, I had my mom swipe a surgery marker (what they use to mark/draw on your body with).  I later used that to circle all the moles and freckles on my body that were new or had changed in the last year.  With chemotherapy, you're a lot more sensitive to the sun and you're suppose to limit your sun exposure.  Therefore, I had developed quite a few new moles in the last 4 months.  So, I went into the office with probably 20 purple circles all over my body.  Funny enough, my Dr. was super happy and impressed with this idea!  I ended up getting 2 moles biopsied, but the Dr. said he feels that they will both come back benign.

Post op

I went to the plastic surgeon for my post op appointment yesterday.  For the past week, I have had to empty 4 drains (2 on each side) every four hours and record the amount of fluid that is extracted from each drain.  I took that record into the appointment with me, and according to those numbers, the Dr. said he could remove 2 of the drains (1 from each side).  The drains were inserted into my side, held with one stitch and bunch of tape and gauze were placed around it.  It was pretty painful to remove them.  Luckily I am still pretty numb all over or I'm sure it would have hurt a lot worse.  While there, the Dr. also injected more saline into my temporary expanders.  I will go weekly for this to occur for a while.  He looked at my incisions and said that they looked good and everything seemed to be going well.  So I go back on Wednesday to hopefully get the other 2 drains out and receive more fluid.  Right now I'm progressing well with the help of pain meds and sleep :)



This is what I look like right now (on one side).  The incision was made under each breast.  The purple circle at the top is where they inject the saline.  The one drain that is left is under the purple circle.  The white guaze at the bottom is where they took out the other drain.

I'm home!

The surgery is over and the tumor is gone!!!!  I have been laying low for a week at my parents house. It's been nice with the holiday weekend, my parents have been able to stay home and take care of me. I have been in immense pain with bad nausea the entire time.  I spent 23 hours in the recovery unit at the hospital after my 7 hour surgery.  An anesthesiologist surgically implanted a pain blocker in my back to block the nerves in my chest and help with the pain after surgery.  It was suppose to last 3 days and it only lasted 1.5days (we still can't figure out why).  I think I have the nausea under control now.  I think I just wasn't eating enough before taking my pain pill each time.  I also have two drains inserted on each side that have to be emptied every 4 hours.  Mom and Dad have been getting up in the middle of the night to do that for me.  I've pretty much been sleeping all day.  I've had several visitors already.  Lots of people bringing us food.  Even though I haven't been able to eat much of it, it looks really good and my parents are enjoying it!  My mom has said several times that it's been nice getting a home cooked meal without having to cook it herself.
Thank you everyone for the love, support, encouragement, and prayers throughout this ordeal.  It has been a rough road for me, especially this last week.  I know I made the right decision, but it is hard to deal with right now with all the pain.  I have a post op with the plastic surgeon tomorrow (Thurs) and hopefully 2 of the drains will be removed.  He should also be filling the expanders some.  I took a total of 8 weeks off work, so visitors are always welcome!  I'll be at my parent's house in New Pal for 2-3 weeks then back at my house in Indy.


In the recovery unit.

http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=JHAD2639
password: survivor

Disappointed

I had another Herceptin treatment on Friday and met with the Oncologist.  I hadn't seen the Oncologist in probably 2 months.  I had been seeing his NP every time I'd been going in for a while now.  He gave me some disappointing news.  I had a breast MRI post chemo to check the progress of the chemo and the size of the tumor.  The original size was 2.9cm.  The current size is 2.1cm.  The Oncologist was disappointed with these results.  He said that he was expecting the tumor to have shrank much more than that with all the chemo I received.  He said that my cancer is strongly Her2 positive as well as strongly estrogen positve.  Therefore, either one could be the driving force for this cancer.  Apparently, since the tumor didn't shrink very much, it appears that estrogen much be the driving force.  (If it was the Her2, the chemo would have worked better since I'm getting Herceptin)  Soooo, in other words all that chemo was pretty much pointless.  I lost my hair, had all those horrible side effects, and missed all that work for nothing!!!  It's very discouraging!  However, he said that because it looks as if the estrogen is the driving force, the Tomoxafin I will be receiving as the end of all of this will do the trick.  The upside is that this news make me more confident in my surgery decision to take them OFF!!

Surgery Decision

    I met with my plastic surgeon last week and discussed what a mastectomy with reconstruction would entail.  I had a consultation, looked at some pictures, and asked a lot of questions.  I left the appointment more confused and concerned than before, however.  There were a lot of questions that he couldn't answer for me, but then there were also a lot of decisions I needed to make that I wasn't aware of...decisions with a lot of different options.  In the following week I was so overwhelmed and frustrated every time I would try to think about it and think of the options and try to make a decision, that I would just cry and push it out of my mind.  I eventually got to the point where I said "I'm not going to think about it again until my appointment on Tuesday."  Well, luckily I have some great people in my life, including a co-worker who is a survivor, who talked with me and calmed me down, as well as my nurse Navigator who is WONDERFUL! 
   Today, I met with my breast surgeon and asked him the questions my plastic surgeon couldn't answer.  We went over all the options, discussed them thoroughly, and what the benefits were of each.  I asked my Nurse Navigator to sit in with us, to help me make the decisions I needed to make; and along with the help of my Dad, we all came to a general consensus.  Drum roll please.....................A nipple-sparing double mastectomy with implant-based reconstruction!  That's a lot of big words, so let me break it down for you.  I will have 99% of both breasts removed.  Only 1% of my breast tissue will remain which will mostly be skin and a small layer of tissue under the skin.  They are going to save my nipples (YEAH!), and then place temporary implants under a layer of muscle.  I will go in once a week for a few weeks and have those implants filled with fluid to expand the implants to the desired size.  Those implants will stay in for 3-6 months, then they will be replaced during a second surgery with the permanent implants.  With this surgery my breasts should look exactly as they do now!  They are hoping to make the incisions under my breasts near my ribs, instead of around my nipples.  If that is the case, there won't even be any visible scars!  I am SOOO happy with this decision.  With this decision I will not have to worry about bi-yearly exams, plus there is a much lower chance of reoccurance.  The biggest downside is that I'll lose most of the feeling in my breasts and nipples.  I am so relieved to have made these decisions and am looking forward to the surgery on August 29th.  Please pray for my Plastic Surgeon Dr. Stahlnecker and my Breast Surgeon Dr. Nate.  They will be joining together for the surgery.  I will be spending 23hrs at the hospital.  The surgery itself will take approximately 6hrs.  It will be done at Community North Surgery Center.

My Last Chemo!!!

   Friday, July 26th was my last appointment for chemotherapy (atleast the hard drugs)!!!!!  I still have to go every 3 weeks for another 9 months to receive Herceptin through IV, because I am Her2 positive.  But the worst is over!!!  Nothing can prepare you for how awful chemo is.  It reaks havoc on your entire body, from head to toe....literally.  Just a little insight into some of the side effects I had: hair loss, acne, heartburn, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, bone pain, neuropathy (hand and feet numbness) and FATIGUE.  At first I was excited about the possible weight loss that I hear so much about with chemo, but the opposite occured to me.  Because I ended up going for weekly chemo treatments, where one of the pre-meds is a steroid, I was hungry (and therefore eating) ALL the time!  Instead of losing weight, I GAINED 15 pounds! So there wasn't one single benefit from chemo :(
   I have had so many people tell me that they can't believe I'm staying so positive.  And I say to them....what's the alternative? I'm not dying!  I'm going to get through this and when I do, this will just be a bump in the road; an event in my life that I can look back on.  There is no reason to be Debbie Downer, and get all depressed and crawl into a hole.  Now, don't get me wrong, of course I've had my negative/sad moments and even a few sad days, but I don't stay in that rut...I can't.  If this was terminal, maybe I would.  But I know I'll be A-Okay in a few short months and my life will return to normal...or maybe even better than normal :)
   So, this week was a time to celebrate.  An old friend from childhood was sooooo gracious to leave her 3 kids and travel 2 hours to come and spend the day with me at my last chemo appointment.  We hadn't seen each other in several years and it was so nice to catch up with her.  We got lunch before the appointment and went out for ice cream at Orange Leaf after the appointment.  It was a great day!  Thanks for helping me celebrate Trisha!

7th Chemo

One more chemo to go!!  This week my awesome cousin Heather came in from WI and left her two kids with her mom and spent Thursday evening and all day Friday with me!!  It was soooo wonderful!  We haven't spent time together just the two of us since we were kids.  It was a great appointment too, because we goofed off with the nurse the whole time.  Heather pointed out that all the previous pictures I've posted on the blog from chemo appointments show me in the chair with my buddies standing behind me.....ALL of them.  So of course, she wanted to do something different.  She said she wanted to "hold me like a baby". So with the help of our nurse, we got a little crazy.....

My nurses idea :)

 

 

 

5th Chemo

I have been so blessed by my friendships throughout my diagnosis and treatment.  All of my close friends currently live out the state or country and all of them have come home to see me!  Two of them were even able to attend a chemo appointment with me.  One of those friends came this week.  I have known Ericka since kindergarten, but we have really become close in the last few years when we attended the same college.  She is a very unique and eccentric woman who I will always have an enjoyable time with.  I have missed her dearly the past year as she been teaching in Colombia and will continue to be there for another year before coming back to the states.  So, I was so thrilled to hear that she was coming home this summer and going to an appt with me.

4th Chemo

  June 28th, I received my fourth chemo.  This was the second time with the new drug Taxol.  It took 4 hours again, but seemed much quicker this time as I did not have to wait in between each process this time like I did last time.  My older brother Brandon left work early to accompany me, which was really nice because we don't get to spend much time together, especially just the two of us.
 

"Rules for Family and Friends"

During this journey I have been blessed with so many gifts and cards from loved ones.  One of those gifts was a book called "Just Get me Through This! The Practical Guide to Breast Cancer".  Honestly, I can't remember who gave it to me (I have been given so many gifts), but I think it was from my brother's mother- or sister-in-law.  There was a passage in this book that I thought was good enough that I needed to share.  I thought it was so truthful and honest, not only pertaining to breast cancer patients (and myself), but all ill patients.  Here are the highlights from the excerpt:

"Those of you who can see her through the entire treatment phase will deserve your own medal of honor, as this becomes the phase that can seem like a never-ending marathon.  ...how do you help her find some humor and optimism during this time? And most important how do you stay in for the long haul, after other initial well-wishers may have dropped by the wayside?

-Provide more uplifting reading (and viewing) material. The treatment phase can seem very long.  Just because you brought her a terrific, inspirational book [at the beginning] doesn't mean she's still reading it six months later. Or the day after chemotherapy, when she may not be up to reading, she'd really appreciate watching a "feel good" movie.  Bring her more.

-Help make her treatment day a special occasion.  Help her transform treatment day from an ominous point on the calendar to a special outing. Spend the day with her. Have lunch together (beforehand, just in case she doesn't feel terrific afterward). Schedule a manicure, massage, or something else she likes.  Help her pamper herself, a bit of distraction from the reality at hand. And after it's over, celebrate one-more-session-down, one-less-to-go.

-Be an appointment escort. Be available to accompany her to appointments. Anytime or anywhere, even if it's seemingly insignificant.  She is already overwhelmed and feeling burdened by the logistics of this experience.  Worrying about who can go with her to her many appointments just adds to the magnitude of the challenge.  Relieve her of this burden, and let her know specifically that whenever she needs you, you're there.

-Help manage her life, but under her direction. Just because she had breast cancer doesn't mean she's stopped thinking or doing.  Many people mistakenly try to take over the patient's life, assuming that she's incapable of caring for herself or making decisions.  Back off.  A key factor in helping her maintain emotional stability throughout this experience is the feeling that she has some sense of control over her life.  If you try to take over, she'll be lost.  So offer to help her in ways that clearly will help and won't be threatening.  If she's physically tired and weak, offer to run errands, shop for groceries, pick up the children from school, or any other of life's daily logistical activities that can zap energy.  Offer to bring over a complete dinner ready to eat on a weekly basis.  Offer laundry service.  Be helpful, not intrusive.

-Plan a date once a week.  Giver her something to look forward to, every week, other than her next doctor's appointment.  Since the treatment phase can seem endless and she may not have normal energy level to maintain a full social schedule, or even make plans, help her along.  It doesn't matter what it is, something as simple as a walk in the nearby park, or bringing over a movie and dinner, [or going to a coffee shop].  As long as she doesn't have to plan it, and it's enjoyable, she'll appreciate it. You might even get together with other family and friends and divide up the responsibilities.

-Keep those cards and letters coming.  ...The flowers sent to the hospital won't last this endurance race.  You can stow away the 'get well' cars, but don't spare the inspirational or funny cards and letters.  She'll appreciate having something to look forwards to when the mail arrives every day-and the fact that you're still thinking of her.

-Abide by rules of energy conservation.  Given her limited energy right now, help her keep it focused on the productive and positive now, on many fronts.  Physically, help her with chores and errands that she doesn't savor, so she can use her energy for more pleasurable activities, maybe something as simple as a short walk every evening.  Emotionally, help keep her focused on the positive aspects of her condition-that she's lucky it was caught early, that she has such a wonderful network of support.  Even more important, screen her from those who expend negative energy, either fearing the worst for her in every situation, or living out their own cancer anxieties through her experience.  And logistically, remind her that with every treatment, and every day that passes, she's one day closer to completing her journey through breast cancer."


Deborah A. Cohen, Just Get Me Through This!:The Practical Guide to Breast Cancer (New York: Kensington Publishing Corp., 2000), 185-187.

3rd Chemo

    Friday, June 21st I went in for my third treatment.  This was the first with my new meds.  I am now taking Taxol and Herceptin.  I will be getting the Taxol every week for 6 weeks and the Herceptin still every 3 weeks for several more months.  I was told that I should tolerate this new chemo much better.  In fact, my doctor said that he gives this drug to 80 y.o. women.  He said "so if you don't tolerate this, we need to double check your age".  Because they are giving it to me in a low-dose, I do not need all the pre-meds and anti-nausea drugs that went along with the other chemo.  Therefore, I was only in the office for 4 hours.  I felt fine all day Saturday, but was extremely tired all day Sunday.  In fact, I slept more than I was awake on Sunday.  Today, Monday, I am still feeling fine... a little tired, but no other side effects at all!!  Looks like this will work out much better!
   On a side note:  My grandparents had come up from FL to see me and attend my chemo appt. with me.  My mom and grandma went with me to the appt.  While in the waiting room, we were informed that I am only allowed to have one visitor in the treatment room with me now (originally I was told two).  So my mom had to wait in the waiting room the whole time! Argh!

Med change

The second chemo treatment was better than the first, but still not great.  The nausea was much more tolerable, but the fatigue was much worse.  And by the end of the week I was having horrible GI issues.  On Thursday I woke up at 5am with a nose bleed and diarrhea, so I called the office and they had me come in for some fluids and to be seen by the Dr.  The Dr. said I should not be having this much trouble on these chemo meds, so he is now switching the meds.  I was taking Toxatere and Carboplatin (along with Herceptin).  Now, he wants me to take Taxol in a low-dose form.  He said I should tolerate this much better.  However, because he is giving it to me in a low-dose, I have to receive it more often, which means once a week!  I was getting the other drugs every 3 weeks for a total of 4 treatments.  Now I will do another 6 weeks of weekly treatments on Taxol.  Hopefully I will have little to no side effects on this drug.

In better news:  I am feeling much better today and my parents and I have decided to go camping for the weekend!!!  I am really looking forward to this outing, since I have been cooped up for a week.

2nd Chemo Treatment

May 30th I went in for my second chemo treatment.  I was anticipating a four hour session and it took 4.5 hours, so much better than the 7 hrs it took the first time!  A few days prior to the treatment, my best friend from childhood informed me that her and her husband were coming into town for a family wedding.  It worked out that they were able to attend part of my chemo treatment with me.  So it turned out I ended up having four "buddies" with me this time.  My mother and her sister, Aunt Janie, stayed with me for the first 3 hours, and then Jenifer and her husband Joe arrived.  They stayed with me for the last 1.5 hours, then took me for something to eat and visited with me at my house for a little bit before they had to meet family for dinner. It was so nice to see them and to have so many people with me that day. 

I felt fine all day Thursday, the day of the treatment.  Friday I was fine all morning and afternoon.  In fact, mom and I went garage sale shopping!  But by late afternoon I was feeling really tired and took a long nap.  Then, today some of the other side effects have set in including the nausea.  However, so far the side effects have not been as bad as last time.  Once my nurses and Dr. found out the horrible time I had last treatment, they decided to give me some better meds.  This time I was given a Sancuso patch to help with the nausea, which I put on one day before chemo and wear for 7 days.  I was also told about a great nausea medicine called Emend, which I asked my Dr. to give me.  So, I think with these two medicines added this time, it has reduced the severity of the side effects.  I do feel much more tired this treatment though.  I have taken a 2.5-3.5 hour nap the last two days.  Everyone has been super supportive and I love the emails, phone calls, and text messages.  Keep them coming! :)

Look Good Feel Better

Today I had the amazing opportunity to attend a free cancer event called "Look Good Feel Better" put on by the American Cancer Society and sponsored by the Professional Beauty Assoc and Personal Care Products Council Foundation.  If anyone is going through breast cancer, I highly recommend this program, it was awesome!  It was 2 hours long, and about 10 women attended of all ages, and stages of treatment.  Nearly all of the women had little to no hair and were wearing wigs.  There were oncology and radiation nurses from the hospital there to help out, but it was led by an ACS Cosmotology Consultant.  We were each given a cosmetic bag full of brand new, name brand make-up ($200-$250 worth), and the consultant took us step by step through each process of make-up application.  Then she went through different ways to wear scarves and head wraps, and proper care of wigs.  I can't speak highly enough about this program.  It is in all 50 states, and in most hospitals near you.  Just go here to check it out and find a location near you.

During the class

All the make-up that came in the cosmetic bag

The Shave!!

   I was told that my hair would start falling out in clumps 10-14 days after my first chemo treatment.  Several survivors as well as my nurse told me that it is better to just shave your head ahead of time, rather than to experience the clumps of long hair on your pillow and in the shower.  So exactly 10 days after chemo, I had it all planned.  My wonderful friend/stylist/childhood classmate volunteered to come over to my parents' house (close by) to shave my head.  This was nice because I didn't have to go into the salon where I was afraid people would be staring at me and making a big deal about it.  I also did not own sheers to just do it myself.
   So, Jessica started by cutting off my hair with scissors, then buzzing it short.  After each step I looked in the mirror so I wouldn't be totally shocked at the end result.  Originally I was excited to get it done, but then when the actual time came, I was super nervous.  When I looked in the mirror after the first step I got really scared!  I had to hide my face when I looked after the final step.  I never did cry (and still haven't), but I was definitely shocked at the final result.  I hate the way it looks, especially with no glasses and no make-up, but it's definitely quicker to get ready in the morning.
   I do have a wig, and wore it to dinner last night.  I used a skull cap under the wig, which turned out to be too tight and uncomfortable.  My Dad was not present when I got my head shaved, and only saw me right afterward with the wig on.  So, when I went to dinner with my parents and decided on the drive home I needed to take my wig off because it was hurting my head, I warned them I was taking it off, so my dad would not be shocked seeing my bald head for the first time. I was sitting in the front seat next to him.  I made sure he heard me and knew I was taking the wig off, but apparently he didn't know I was going to take it off right when I did, because he turned to look at me right after I took it off and screamed out and turned his head the other way and hid his eyes.  It was sooooo funny!  We all started laughing, but I think it was more of a laugh-so-we-don't-cry type of laughing. :)  My Dad was totally freaked out!

                                             My original hair (with my mom)
                                                                                                      

During the first stage (cut)

During the second stage (buzz)

After the shave with Jess

 

My Wig
 

First Chemo

So my usual upbeat and strong personality is now out the window!  My first chemo treatment was Tuesday May 7th, and my parents went with me.  It took 7 hours, because it was my first treatment and also because they were really busy.  They have a pharmacy/pharmacist on site in the office who mixes up all the chemo drugs just before they are needed.  The office was very busy, so I had to wait a while in between medicines.  I am taking Taxotere, and Carboplatin, plus Herceptin.  Two of the drugs take 1 hour through IV, the other takes 30 min., plus they pump me full of fluids before and after.  I did really well on Tuesday and even felt fine on Wednesday, but it hit me hard starting early Thursday morning.  I went in to the Dr's office on Wednesday to get a WBC booster shot called Neulasta.  So, by Thursday I was in a full blown chemo nightmare.  I was having severe bone pain in my hips, neck and back (from the Neulasta), along with severe nausea from the chemo.  Today is Saturday and I'm just now starting to feel better. I am not looking forward to going through this THREE more times!  Today is my first time out of the house in four days. :(

Crap!

   Well, I have received some more test results and am progressing along in my treatment.  My breast MRI results came back and showed "two areas of enhancement" on my left breast (other side).  My surgeon wanted to do an ultrasound to try and verify what those areas were, hoping they were fibrous tissue or cysts.  Fortunately, but unfortunately the ultrasound was clear and showed nothing...nothing to explain those enhancements.  Therefore, I had to go back in for another MRI to see if those areas showed up again, and if they did I was told they would biopsy those areas.  So, I went in last Thursday scared to death that I would have to get TWO MORE BIOPSIES!  If you remember, I had an initial biopsy through ultrasound on my right breast that diagnosed my original breast cancer, and it hurt like HELL!!  So they did the "second look" MRI and sure enough those same areas showed up.  I immediately panicked (still face down on the MRI table).  So, the radiologist prepped me for the biopsies and proceeded to do two MRI guided biopsies.  Thank the Lord, although it did hurt, these biopsies were not as painful as the first one.  They use a different method for the MRI biopsies, so it wasn't as painful.  I didn't even bruise.
   So, the next day on Friday I received a call from my surgeon letting me know the results of the MRI biopsy.  Praise God both sites were benign!!!!  So he told me that was the last piece of the puzzle and he is now releasing me into my oncologist's care.  I am suppose to start chemo in about a week.  I should find out the beginning of next week what kind of chemo and for how long/often I'll be given it. 
  I did also find out that I am HER2 positive.  Therefore, I am hormone receptor positive, which means my treatment will be extended.  I will be given an IV of Herceptin every 3 weeks for a year, in addition to the chemo.

There's a link

  I was diagnosed with stage 1A melanoma on my left arm in mid-January and had surgery to remove it on February 5th.  Skin cancer runs highly in my family, although I am the only immediate family member to get melanoma.  About 3-4 weeks after I was cleared from the melanoma diagnosis, I discovered a lump in my breast and started the journey of breast cancer.  Of course, the first question my family and I kept asking the doctors was "are the two cancers related?".  First, my breast surgeon said it was "unlikely".  Then my oncologist said "no".  After posting on facebook about my diagnosis, a friend informed me that her mother had melanoma and breast cancer within the same year.  I found this to be very interesting and immediately started research online.  Apparently, there is a correlation!  A study was done in the UK and published in the Irish Journal of Medical Science a few years ago, which proves that there is a link.  This other article is interesting too: "they concluded that survivors had a 28 percent increased risk of a second cancer, mostly due to their 9-times greater likelihood of developing another melanoma than the general population. The most common second cancers after melanoma were breast, prostate, and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma."
 
  After I learned about this information, I started finding more people/professionals who were aware of this study and believed there to be a link.  I also found out a family member of mine has also had both cancers.  So upon learning this new information, my family and I demanded a PET Scan, which scans your entire body looking for cancers.  Praise the Lord, my PET Scan was clear.
  So if you or anyone you know has ever had breast cancer or melanoma, please be aware of this study and regularly check your body for abnormalities, and immediately seek a doctor if you see or feel anything unusual.

Waiting Game

   Well the streak of luck has ended.  I received some not so good news from my breast surgeon this morning.  Some more test results have come in and they are not negative.  The breast MRI I had the day after my surgery showed that the mass is not 1.7cm like they had originally thought (from the ultrasound), it is actually 2.9cm.  The MRI also showed two areas of enhancement on my other (left) breast.  The surgeon said this could be just a cyst, but I will need another ultrasound (and possibly biopsy) on this side now to be sure.  He also informed me of the pathology results from my lymph nodes that were taken out during surgery.  They removed 3 lymph nodes and 1 of the lymph nodes showed cancer.  Apparently though the cancer is super small (0.02mm).  In fact, it is soo small, the surgeon is not sure how to proceed with it.  He said normally they would go in and take out more lymph nodes, but he may just treat it with radiation since it's so small.  My nurse said they would had to have really been looking for it to have even seen it.
  So, right now they have postponed my chemo until they figure out what is going on, if anything, with my left breast.  I have the ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday).  Also, every Tues morning at CHN the cancer doctors get together and discuss between 3-6 patients in a "conference".  There are about 10-15 doctors including breast surgeons, radiologists, and oncologists. My surgeon said he is going to present my case in the morning to the doctors.  This is good news, because many specialists will all be discussing my case and figuring out the best treatment and plan for me.  I am excited to hear what they decide!

UPDATE:  My surgeon met with the other doctors on the panel and they decided that since the "cancer" was soooo minute in my one lymph  node, that they are not even going to really consider it.  Apparently, it is only considered "cancer" if it is over 0.02mm, and mine was exactly 0.015mm in size.  So it's really too small to even deal with.  My surgeon said that because it's so small, he's considering me lymph node negative.  He will not remove anymore lymph nodes (YEAH!!), and the chemo and radiation should take care of small amount that is in there.  Plus he said that the "cancer" was encased within the lymph node.

Initial surgery

  On April 17th I went into surgery for a port placement and sentinel node biopsy.  I had to arrive at 10:30a.  I was scheduled to be at Nuclear Medicine at 11:30a and my surgery was scheduled for 12:30p.  As I mentioned before, my veins are very hard to thread.  After my nurse tried to insert my IV and couldn't, she requested an anesthesiologist to come in and try.  He was successful and said that he got THE ONLY vein that was left!  By the time they prepped me and inserted my IV, it was about 11:35a.  So they walked me down to Radiology where the Nuc Med Tech inserted radioactive dye into my breast.  It took all of 2 minutes, but it stung pretty bad as it went in.  The dye they injected is suppose to tell the surgeon if any of my lymph nodes are feeding off of the cancer.  Apparently, the surgery took about 2 hours and 15 minutes.  I was told that it took me about an hour to wake up from the anesthesia and I was SUPER groggy.  I did NOT want to wake up. Once they moved me from the bed to the chair, I got nauseous and started vomiting.  I also vomited on the way home in the car ;) We didn't end up leaving the surgery center until 6pm!  So of course I slept the rest of the night, and most of the next day.
  Apparently, three of my lymph nodes lit up with the dye, so they removed those and sent them off for pathology to make sure the cancer isn't in those nodes.  I am pretty sore in both arms....the port was put in my left chest, and the nodes were taken from my right armpit.  The first two days my wonderful mom had to literally feed me like a baby because I couldn't lift my arms.  I have a huge bruise under my right arm, but luckily both surgery sites have very small incisions.  So, I am just waiting now for the soreness and pain to go away so I can return to work.
  I have received some more test results in the past few days.  My BRCA was negative, my Echo cardiogram was good (60-65%), and my PET scan was clear!  So far all my tests are coming out great...I hope that continues. 

Wig fun!

 

I have been blessed by a wonderful donation to help pay for a wig.  So my parents took me to a wig shop today and I tried on several wigs.  It was a lot of fun!  Here are a few pictures of some of the wigs I tried on....the one I chose is in one of the pictures (I ordered it with red hair of course).  The shop owner was so nice and wonderful to work with.  She was a hairdresser who felt a need to transition into wigs when her close friend went through chemo.  I can't wait for my wig to arrive!  LOL  I think I look like Velma from Scooby Doo in the top picture :)

Let's break it down

I realized that I forgot to mention the details about the specific kind of cancer that I have.  So here it is:

-I have invasive ductal carcinoma
-It's grade 1
-It's a hormone positive cancer
-85% of all breast cancer patients get this kind of breast cancer
-It is highly treatable
-My oncologist called it an "old woman's cancer"
-My PR and ER were both positive, the HER2 is still out
-BRCA results are still out
-They are doing chemo first, then surgery

I do not know yet what kind of chemo or what kind of surgery I will get.  My doctors right now are leaning towards lumpectomy, but I am leaning towards mastectomy.  My nurse said it is my choice, whatever I want to do....and insurance will cover any decision I make.

My first chemo is scheduled for April 23rd at my Oncologist's Office at Community South.  Right now my day planner is filled up everyday for the next week with appointments.  I am getting a port placed and sentinel node biopsy on April 17th.  I have very "scared' veins that are impossible to "thread" and they said it is imperative that I get this port.  I was suppose to get a breast MRI last week and after 3 different people tried to insert my IV, they gave up and said I had to reschedule it until after the port is placed, so they can just use the port to insert the contrast.  I remember when I was in the ER this past summer, they had to call in the IV team who had to use an ultrasound machine to find a good vein for my IV!!!  I also remember a horror story from January when I had to get a CT with contrast.  The tech stuck me 5 times and blew 2 veins before finally calling a nurse over from the doctor's office next door...who stuck me once and got a good vein!  I was sooo bruised after that experience!  So this port is going to be my best friend!!

The support

When I first told my parents the news of being diagnosed, only 2 months after recovering from melanoma, they were devastated!  My Dad cried...and he never cries.  I actually took the news better than they did!  I have been completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I have gained already, only a week into this.  All the emails, texts, and phone calls.  Several people have told me that they have started a prayer chain for me, which means the world to me!  I have people as far west as California, as far south as Florida, and far east as Maryland praying for me.....for ME!  I can't believe the love and support I'm getting.  Thank you all sooo much!  It means the world to me!

This past week has been a blur to me.  It feels like it's all happening to someone else, or maybe like I'm just getting all these tests to just figure out what is wrong with me, because they don't know yet.  It hasn't sank in yet, that I have breast cancer.  Although it is hard for me to say those words.  My nurse told me the other day, how are you doing, because you seem to be taking it awfully well!  It's just because 1) I'm trying to stay strong for my parents, 2) It still feels like a dream.  However, it did start to sink in on Tuesday when I was in the oncologist's office and they walked me by the Chemo room and I saw all the people hooked up to Chemo.  I started crying when I saw that...it became real to me then.  I also find myself crying every time I'm driving in the car alone.  My mind is free to wonder and I start thinking about the future and what I'm going to have to endure and I get scared.

Thank you for all the support and prayers and please keep them coming, not only for me, but also for my family! Love you all!

It's all in a name

Pink Days Ahead:

I chose this name for my blog, because the ribbon color for breast cancer is pink.  EVERYTHING related to breast cancer is PINK!!!!  I hate pink!!!!!  Unfortunately this is the color that is going to get me through my struggles, help me survive and support me for the next year and beyond, so I must now learn to love this color.  By April of 2014, I will be covered in head to toe in the color pink, walking through downtown Indy in the Race for the Cure....this time as a Survivor!   So I must learn to love the color pink!  Luckily, my 2 y.o. niece's favorite color is pink.  In fact, we are trying to teach her her colors now and everytime we ask her "what color is this?", she always responds "pink!"  So I now must take a page from her book and love the color pink!

The news

I am starting this blog to keep everyone informed on my prognosis and recovery.  Instead of answering the same question 10 times, everyone can come here to see how I'm doing and what surguries, exams, tests, are occuring.  Of course, you can still always call, email, or text me too. 

So to catch everyone up to speed, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on April 4, 2013.  I found a lump in my right breast myself.  I was undressing for the shower and noticed a dimple in my breast and knew that was not normal, so I immediately did a self breast exam.  During that exam I felt a large, hard lump.  Once in the shower, I did another exam and felt the same thing.  I immediately grew concerned and called my gynocologist.  Since I have fibrocystic breasts, she had ordered a mammo for me in May 2012 (in which she lied and said she had found a lump so that insurance who cover it). Sidenote: under the age of 35 insurance will not cover a screening mammo (looking for abnormalities), insurance will only cover a diagnostic mammo (abnormality detected/suspected).  I never got around to getting this done so, I called the office to make sure that order had not expired, which it hadn't, so I scheduled the mammo for March 28th.  I went in for the exam and they decided to also do a breast ultrasound.  I found out later, that the mammogram did not show anything, but they could see the mass on the ultrasound.  So they ordered an ultrasound guided breast core biopsy to take samples of the mass and do pathology on it.  I went in for that, scared to death because I'd been told how painful they were......and boy was that true!!! The worst pain of my life!  I'd rather break my arm again than go through that pain again.  Well, 7 days later at 8:30am my gynocologist woke me up with a phone call telling me the results...."It's breast cancer."  My world fell apart.  Only some of you may know that just in January I was diagnosed with melanoma.  So getting a second cancer diagnosis in 3 months was a hard pill to swallow.

Last week I met with my breast surgeon and spent 2.5 hours in a consultation with him, getting more information than my parents and I could handle.  Luckily, part of the Community Hospital breast center care is to provide you with a "navigator" who is a corridinator between you and all your doctors.  She is there is to schedule all your appts, answer any questions, go to major appts with you, and keep all the lines open between everyone involved in your care.  My navigator's name is Sharlee and she is wonderful.  She was acutally an oncology nurse for many years, so she understands what I'm going through and is very informed about cancer issues.

The main question I keep getting from people is "what is your plan?"  Right now I am in the process of getting tons of tests and exams.  The BRCA test has not come back yet (tests for the breast cancer gene).  My HER2 and HER2 by Fish were both equivoqal (sp), so they are sending for a more sensitive test called aqua to hopefully get a definite positive or negative answer.  I go on April 17th for outpatient surgery to get a port placed and a sentinal node biopsy.  Then April 18th is my breast MRI.  They want to do chemo before surgery, so I start chemo on April 23rd.  I am being told that I will lose my hair 2 weeks to the day after chemo starts, and my insurance does not cover getting a wig.....so get ready for this white bald head coming your way!