Coming up...

 I had my 3rd chemo treatment on Monday, July 19th.  This treatment went much better than the last two, as I had no complications during the infusion.  I have had little side effects this time as well.  Wednesday I was pretty nauseous and tired, but felt better the rest of the week.  I was even able to spend the weekend with my niece and nephew. My next chemo (and final round of AC), will be on Monday, August 2nd.  Don't forget to send me love and support with your "Support Squad" t-shirts.  Take a photo wearing it and send it to me, please!  It really lifts my spirits to see you all out there supporting me.

As I mentioned, my next chemo is Aug 2nd.  My father is having rotator cuff surgery (3+ month recovery) on Aug. 4th.  This is going to be a difficult time for my parents and I as my mom will have to do double duty as a caretaker for a few weeks.  She will have to take care of my dad full for a few weeks until he can start using his arm again, and then also take care of me during my recovery periods from chemo.  This is going to be a very challenging time for the 3 of us.  Therefore, it would be greatly appreciated if any local friends and family could help us out with meals during this time.  I have signed up for takethemameal.com.  Search for "Rapers" and use passcode 9798.  I have made a schedule for 6 weeks.  Anything would be greatly appreciated.  Follow the link here .

Second chemo

 July 6th I had my second round of AC chemo (Adriamycin and cytoxin). I entered the appointment with a migraine that increasingly got worse. To the point where they didnt want to treat me and wanted to post-pone the chemo. They said all my vitals and blood work were good, so I told them to proceed. They pumped me full of nausea meds and steroids, which weren't helping, and gave me tylenol. I had a reaction to 1 or more of the drugs, and had to get a dose of benadryl, then more steroids. These 2 drugs combined knocked me out for a couple hours and when I finally woke up the migraine was gone. This treatment was suppose to take 2.5hrs. But with all the complications I was there for 5hrs and was one of the last patients to leave. 

Good news is, my recovery this time is going much better so far. No bone pain so far and less nausea.

Keep praying and keeping sending those Support Squad photos, my next chemo is July 19th.

I love you all but...

 I don't want to piss anyone off with this post, but something needs to be addressed. Many of my friends and family have never had cancer, so I don't expect you to understand. But it must be known that the worst thing you can ask a cancer patient is "How are you feeling?".  As my hilarious fellow cancer friend puts it: "I feel like shit. How do you think I feel?!". I have good days, and I have bad days, but overall chemo SUCKS.

I have been getting daily messages from loved ones asking me this very question. It gets overwhelming and exhausting explaining my daily condition to everyone. I am trying to stay positive throughout my treatment, and constantly talking about my symptoms, side effects and overall wellness is bringing me down. Don't misunderstand me, I love and appreciate that everyone is concerned about me and checking on me. This is not about one individual person, so don't take it personally. But there are better ways to go about showing that you care. 

If you want to know about my treatment and how it's going, the best thing you can do is follow my blog at pinkdaysahead.blogspot com. I post regular updates there. Otherwise, if you want to send me a message, send me funny memes/videos (I dont get offended easily), or just say "I'm thinking about you today" or "I'm praying for you". But please do not ask me how I'm feeling or how treatment is going!

If you want more details or don't have access to my blog, you can text my mom. She is more than happy to talk to people and has been advised on how much to share. Any close friends or relatives should have her cell phone #. 

Thank you for allowing me to vent. Do not stop caring, just do it differently please.

Chemo #1

 On Monday, June 21st, I had my first round of chemotherapy.  My mom and I entered the cancer center at 11am and there was so much hustle and bustle, no one realized I was there for my first treatment.  They were so busy, I was there for 4.5 hours, even though the infusions only took about 2 actual hours. I asked the nurse and she said it's like this all the time (It was not like this 8 years ago when I went through chemo).  So, unfortunately, I will not have the same nurse every time, like I did 8 years ago, which was really nice....times have changed. I did have a private room with a wall of windows over looking a nice little water fall and bird feeding area.  I had a cardinal come and visit 3 different times.

I started feeling nauseous and had a headache just a couple hours after my treatment on Monday.  I woke up Tuesday and felt great all day.  I ran errands and had normal energy. Then, Tuesday evening around 6:45p, my Neulasta On Pro was injected (to increase my white blood cells) and the bone pain started. Wed-Sat I was feeling bad.  Symptoms included, nausea, headache, bone pain, slight fever, major fatigue and just overall unwellness.  I will say, that the symptoms this time around are much more tolerable than they were 8 years ago, which is a blessing. My next treatment is Tues, July 6th.  Right now, I'm planning on working the day of treatment (until I have to leave for the appointment), working the day after treatment, and then taking the rest of the week off.  

I have received SO MANY cards, gift cards, flowers, gifts from my Amazon List, well wishes, prayers, texts, FB msgs, and phone calls. I appreciate every single one of them.  I have tried to individually respond to and thank each one of you. They mean the world to me!

How to Support Me

 Since I have several friends and family that live too far to visit or show their support in person, I have come up with an idea. This idea comes from my 2018 cancer camp roommate, Vanessa, who passed away last year. In the link below, you will find a "Support Squad" t-shirt, that can be purchased on Amazon for $15. If you would like, you can purchase one, or many for the entire family. The idea is to wear this shirt on the days of my treatments, to show your support from afar. You can wear it as is, style it, cut it, bedazzle it, add my name...whatever you wish. But TAKE A PICTURE AND SEND IT TO ME! This will really lift my spirits!! The crazier and funnier, the better (i.e. shirts and photos). My first day of chemo is Monday, June 21st, so start prepping! I cant wait to see what you all come up with!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09131V3V6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_9ZJWHX0ZY5E5S4XSJKDT?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

(Copy and paste to web browser if link doesnt work)

Updates

 It's been 3 weeks since my major surgery.  I've been at my parent's house the entire time.  Recovery is going much better now.  I can do pretty much everything by myself now. There is still daily pain, but it is manageable with OTC and ice. I was getting pretty restless last week, so we decided to spend a few days away.  We traveled down to the Bloomington area and stayed 3 nights at the Canyon Inn in McCormick's Creek State park. We had great weather and it was so nice to get away and be outside. Nature is very healing for me. I had a great time away!  We returned just in time to see my nephew win 2nd place in his lacrosse tournament for Westfield youth. 

Here are some upcoming dates:

June 1st-return to work

June 16th-surgery for port placement

June 21st-first chemo injection

July 5th-second chemo injection

Some people have asked what they can send me to help with treatments.  Even though I have been through this before, the chemo medicine will be different and therefore the side effects may be different.  I have made a small Amazon Wish List based off what I think I may need.  You may also send me earrings.  I like studs or small dangles. 

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1WP7KX0Z68G7S?ref_=wl_share

(copy and paste link into your browser)  Send to my parent's house, email or text for address.

 

Wish the news was better...

 My visit with the Oncologist was yesterday.  I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say, but it was still upsetting.  Going through chemo was the hardest thing I did 8 years ago, and I did not EVER want to go through it again. But of course, the doctor said it was necessary this time too.  I will have to do 4 rounds of Adriamycin (Red Devil) and then 12 rounds of Taxol.

Since my last update, the pathology has come back and I have found out that my cancer is stage 3. This is mostly due to the lymph node activity.  With all the prior tests I received, the cancer was only seen in one lymph node. A biopsy of that node was done and a marker was put in to mark that particular node for surgery. Therefore, going into surgery we only suspected cancer to be in one lymph node.  It's my understanding that you can't just surgically remove one lymph node; they are in clusters and the entire cluster of nodes must be removed.  Pathology reported that 18 lymph nodes were in the cluster that was removed during surgery and 7 of the 18 were cancerous! SEVEN, not one.  Of course, this was shocking to everyone, including the doctor. I also found out today, that the tumor itself measured 1.3 cm and he said that all the cancerous lymph nodes measured larger than that. It's a pretty serious thing once cancer gets into your lymph nodes, especially that many.  So, that is why chemo has been recommended. Chemo will start in 4-5 weeks after I heal from surgery and last several months.  Then, I will go through radiation.

Chemo is a pretty terrible thing, something I would never wish on anyone.  I am not looking forward to it, but I'm hoping that with advancements over the last 8 years, my journey will not be quite as rough this time around. Prayers for peace of mind, healing and bravery are appreciated right now.